Our expectations shape our experiences. While that is something we might know, we may not always be aware of it when it comes to our own experiences. I was reminded of that about a year ago, when I spent a bit of time in Dortmund, Germany. I spent my afternoons writing in a small boat-like cafe: blue sky and fluffy clouds were painted in the ‘portholes’ on the back wall and ceiling. There were railings, two fake palm trees and maritime decorations carved out of wood: a seagull, a lighthouse, a sailboat. Corny maybe, but I loved it.
One day, two women walked in with immaculate haircuts and fancy jewelry, speaking English. They seemed excited, as if they’d really been looking forward to this moment. They ordered, merry faced and with their arms firmly planted on the table….an Apfelstrudel. The waiter, a young German-Egyptian, seemed bewildered. A what? Apfelstruuuudel. Apfelkuchen? No, no! The women insisted.
This place offered an array of creamy and luscious cakes, but not Apfelstrudel. The women were incredulous. For some reason they turned to me, and said “Apfelstrudel is SO German! How can they not have it?!” They tried a different cake but kept shaking their heads in disbelief. They were disappointed. It seemed like in their minds, a cafe in Germany that didn’t serve Apfelstrudel just didn’t fit.
Of course there’s nothing inherently wrong with this scenario. We have all had moments where we set our minds on something we didn’t get. Consider this though:
Why not ask people on the streets or in shops or restaurants for Apfelstrudel-recommendations? Why not go for a ‘German specialty’ instead of Apfelstrudel?
How would their experience that afternoon have changed, had they let go of their idea and simply embraced what they had found?
In a situation like that we have to make a choice:
So why is it a good idea to drop preconceived notions?
If you’d like to find out how to let go of preconceived ideas, take a look at my upcoming ebook.